As I sit here at the computer at 2:50 am I think to myself that in 10 days I get to meet Ethan....while most parents would be super excited I am trying to be...don't get me wrong I can't wait to meet him....it's just that I wish it was under better circumstances...If you haven't read by now, my son has HLHS (Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome) A condition he has where the left side of his heart didn't form correctly and now he has to undergo three surgeries (maybe more) by the time he is 5 years old. While at first I wondered what I did wrong....did I not take the right vitamins did I not get in soon enough to the doctors. I was told that nothing I did caused this...that there are so many babies being born with this condition...who are happy and healthy due to the surgeries.
SURGERY......
That is one scary word to process...
I can't help but feel scared that he might not make it through, or that he will make it through but have many complications.
I am hoping to spend some time with him BEFORE they do surgery...we will see as I am having a C-Section.
MY BOYS.
I have two older boys Charles who is 9 years old and Connor who is 2 years old....I really hate the fact that I wont be around as much until we can bring Ethan home...I am scared they will be mad at me. I am hoping that with the support of my family they can help my older boys cope with me not being around full time.
I am going to try to post as much as possiblein the next 10 days ( and beyond)
Til then....I need sleep!!!
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