Bittersweet

So I am packing my house and I came across an ultrasoud of Ethan at 16 weeks gestation...before we knew about the heart defect...before we knew we were having another boy...I started crying because I knew at that point in the pregnancy that he was going to be the last...and now, I totally regret having my tubes tied..because I loved every ultrasound...even after we found out what he had...because I got to see this little tiny person moving around and kicking and most of all seeing and hearing the heartbeat.

Ethan, mommy is so very sorry you had to hurt to live and I wish I could have made it all better so you didn't have to hurt the 11 days you were here on this earth.

I am relieved that you are up in heaven and are there to greet all the little precious babies who have lost the fight against CHD'S. I really miss and love you and know that I will see you again someday.

New Beginings.

Moving to Illinois!

Yep it's true we are moving to Illinois and making a fresh new start.I will miss my family but this has been a decision that has been waiting to be made.

Bruce is there right now getting ready to come down and get us when the time comes
( he found work there and lets just say that finally we will be able to provide the for the boys a lot better now.)

My birthday was kinda sucky cause I have been getting these migraines and I am going to be seeing a specialist soon because I am starting to worry.

Ethan I love you so very much and I know you are playing a BIG part in these latest decisions.

Well back to packing:(