I can't sleep, cause every time I close my eyes I see Ethan.
I know he is well taken care of now but I miss him so much and want him here with me.
Trying to get thru each day is hard. I want to sleep all the time but I have other obligations.
I wish that I had gotten the other second opinion....it might have given Ethan more time. But then that's more time he would have suffered and I feel so guilty for thinking that.
I really need someone that can reassure me that eventually it does get better.
For now, I really miss my Ethan :(
Hun, you did the right thing for him, you and your family at that time. In the back of our heads we will always continue to think "I should have done this or shouldn't have done that" and that's ok just remember you did the right thing for him in that moment! Ethan really misses you right now too, but he's pain free and happy now. Just take day by day, it won't hurt any less but it will be easier for you to manage as the time goes on!
ReplyDeleteOver time, it does become different. It's been 6 months since Caleb passed, and I can now think of him with a smile. The tears are sporadic, and usually come unexpectedly. The loss of a child is a pain so deep, that we will always carry it. But he will always be your little boy.
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